No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

However, in a recent linguistic conferenceheld in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner.

His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.

Here is his astute answer: “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!” His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting over 5 minutes.

Yesterday, my daughter again asked why I didn’t do something useful with my time .

Talking about my “doing something useful” seemed to be her favourite topic of conversation .

She was “only thinking of me ,” and suggested I go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys .

I did this , and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business .

I told her that I had joined a parachute club ..

She said, “Are you nuts? You ‘re almost 81 years old , and you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes ?”

I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card .

She said to me, “Good grief, where are your glasses ! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club , not a Parachute Club ..”

“I’m in trouble again, and I don’t know what to do… I signed up for five jumps a week,” I told her.. She fainted.

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier , but sometimes it can be fun !